*knocks you out with a calculator* bet you weren’t counting on that
"If she only wants you, don’t worry about who wants her."
listening to sad music and wallowing in self pity at 3 am wasn’t really how i pictured my life to be yet here i am doing it every day
nevermind christmas music just came on shuffle i’m good
a hilarious joke
three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found.
because the un deux trois quatre cinq
IM LAUGHING SO HARD AT THIS JOKE IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND IT I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU